I Haven't Thought About This In A While

I always fancied myself Artemus ... read on and I think you'll see why

Oh, let me come right out and say it. To a kid of the late 1960s, "The Wild Wild West" was as gay as a show could get. Like "I Spy," like "Batman," it was a portrait of two men in domestic partnership. Jim and Artie didn't just work together; they lived together, rode together, celebrated together. Of course, the show's creators took care to give Jim a vigorous and straight lifestyle. Virtually every episode finds him seducing -- and, in the same hot breath, reforming -- some busty blond minion. But more than heterosexual, Jim West is truly sexual, in a way heroes of westerns usually weren't. See how snugly his clothes are tailored to his form -- the bolero jacket, the extra-tight trousers (not to mention Season 4's leather chaps, which would not be out of place in a gay pride parade). And see how readily he takes those garments off at the slightest incentive. See how he carries that fine body of his. Jim West is a man who enjoys being desired.

And who is in a better position to appreciate that effort than Artie? Ross Martin has a rip-roaring time playing the character "in character" -- Artie's a master of disguise and dialect -- but in his scenes with Conrad, he becomes softer and more tranquil. Watching them together, you realize that while Jim is often focused inward, Artie is always looking at his partner. Where else would he look? He has no girlfriends to speak of (a fact he sometimes complains about). Then again, he doesn't seem to need them. It's a token of the two men's understanding that Jim can go off on his amorous rampages, safe in the knowledge that Artie's waiting back at the train, with the champagne magnum and the freshly chalked billiard cues.

I didn't quite grasp it as a kid, but "The Wild Wild West" showed me how two men could live together and love each other without forfeiting any of society's prerogatives. Which makes the show even more of a fantasy -- and even more of a pleasure. Long live Jim and Artie, in their train bound for trouble.